What Stars Have Seen
by VirgCoup
Summary: On the eve of his departure for Erebor, Fíli bids farewell to his beloved, little guessing how his journey will end. One-shot


Finished with her work for the evening, Kera left the sewing rooms and strode through the dimly lit corridor. It was not late, but she found herself alone in this section of Thorin's Halls, and her footsteps made a lonely sound. As she hurried between pools of light from sconces set along the stone passageway, a hand reached out and grabbed at her elbow. She shrieked and backed away to the opposite side of the corridor before she saw what was waiting for her in the shadows.

Fíli's head of golden hair peeked out of the dark alcove he occupied. She exhaled sharply.

"I didn't mean to startle you." The contrition in his voice was at odds with the devilish grin he wore.

"Then why were you hiding in the dark?"

He affected a look of pure innocence. "It's my resting place. I was taking a quick nap."

She rolled her eyes at him but a smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "You leave in the morning, don't you have something better to do?"

"Something better than to hear you scream as though you'd come across an orc? I can't think of anything." He smiled in that way he had that melted her insides and both her fear and annoyance were immediately forgotten.

Still, she couldn't let him get away with everything. She gave him her best glare. "If I'd thought you were an orc, I would have already run you through."

"Oh yes?" His mouth twitched as his eyes took her in. "Where is your sword, exactly?"

Unarmed and caught in an absurd boast, Kera put her hands firmly on her hips. "I could still knock you down and pummel you soundly."

He stepped forward and hugged her to him, picking her up easily. "Please, do, I could use a sound beating." She meant to feign a struggle, but laced her arms around his neck instead. His eyes looked to her mouth and her breath caught, expecting a kiss. Just then, she noticed two dwarves farther along the passage and she pushed away from his chest.

When he saw what had made her face fall, he set her back on her feet and leaned in close to her ear. "Should we hide in my resting place?"

Stepping a pace away, she shushed him and tried to compose herself. She smoothed her skirts and pressed her fingers to her cheeks, which she hoped weren't flushed. Fíli just stood watching her, a slight smile playing along his mouth. He nodded cordially to the other dwarves when they walked past but kept silent until they were out of sight.

"That was a close one," he said. "If they had been a moment later, they would have seen me do this." In an instant, his arms were wrapped around her again and his mouth was on hers. She wove her fingers through his braids as they kissed, all worry of being caught forgotten. When he finally pulled away, he pressed his forehead against hers and said in a low tone, "Can you come with me?"

The kiss had swept any objections she might have had about accompanying him from her mind - she would have gone with him anywhere. She took his hand and walked along at his side as he quickly led them into the upper levels of Thorin's Halls. After a few minutes, she regained the good sense to ask where they were going.

"Some place where we can be alone."

She slowed her pace but did not quite stop. "Fíli." The word was a feeble protest. Her mind worked to formulate yet another defense of her virtue. These protests had become more and more flimsy over the last few months until they were nothing but gossamer lace, and they both knew it.

He placed his free hand over his heart as though he'd read her thoughts. "I'll be good, I promise. I just want to talk to you." He paused a beat and arched one eyebrow. "Mostly."

He continued to lead them higher through the Halls, briefly letting go her hand whenever they came upon other dwarves. Although he had been courting Kera for well over a year, it was an unofficial arrangement. Their subterfuge was unnecessary, since half the Halls guessed the attachment already and the other half had no interest in what Fíli and Kera did. Even so, they did their best to maintain a veneer of innocence over their interactions.

Once outside Thorin's Halls in the open air of the Blue Mountains, there was no longer any need to pretend they had come upon each other by chance, so they walked hand in hand at their ease. They strolled slowly through the trees, listening to soft forest sounds in the chill spring evening. Out of sight of the Halls, Fíli found a fallen log and gestured for Kera to sit down. He sat next to her and took her hands in his.

She waited what seemed an age for him to speak. His excitement was plain to see in his eyes, yet still he held back, almost as though he was nervous. Her heartbeat quickened - he would not possibly ask for her hand on the eve of his journey, would he?

"I know I can trust you," he said, finally breaking the silence, "but I must ask you to swear not to tell anyone what I am about to confide in you." If she had not known better, Kera might have thought he _had_ asked for her hand, so much happiness was held in his expression.

"You have my confidence." She gave it willingly, although the request confused her.

"It's about the journey Kíli and I are going on tomorrow."

He brought her all this way to talk about trade relations with hobbits? She rather wished she had need for one of her "We should wait until we are betrothed" arguments but concealed her disappointment.

"It is not what it seems. We are going to the Shire first, as all know, but then we are going far beyond on the Great East Road."

Unease washed over her, although she could not say exactly what she feared. "Not to the Iron Hills?"

His mouth turned up slightly. "Not quite that far."

Her brow furrowed. Dwarves of the Blue Mountains had little trade outside the borders of Bree and no cause whatever for social visits to any but the lands of other dwarves. "Where then?"

"Kera," he said with unconcealed joy, "we are going to Erebor."

She sucked in a breath. _Erebor_?

"Uncle has a plan to take back the mountain." He smiled again as though this was a perfectly satisfactory explanation.

She stared at him, her mouth open but unable to form words. For a moment she felt as though she had fallen down a mine shaft, her heart sank so suddenly. "The Lonely Mountain?" she whispered. "But this is madness."

The light in Fíli's eyes changed and she regretted her choice of words. Madness was not spoken of lightly by his family. She squeezed his hands in silent apology and spoke more softly. "How can he think to take it from the dragon?"

"He hasn't told me the details, all I know is that he is working with a wizard, and they have a plan."

Taking back the mountain was certain death, all dwarves had sworn it to be so for over a hundred years. They did not possess the power to kill the dragon, so the dragon would remain in the mountain until its natural death. The wizard's scheme must be a good one if Thorin was willing to undertake it.

"Surely you will march with an army of dwarves?"

"We hope to," he said. This gave her some measure of relief. "Uncle has already departed to meet with envoys from the other clans. Kíli and I will leave tomorrow and join him in the Shire in a fortnight. That's where we'll meet the wizard, and then go on to Erebor."

"But first you will go to the Iron Hills, to gather their army?" If Fíli were truly going to Erebor, Kera wanted to be certain he would have thousands of dwarves behind him.

"We might not even need an army. There are rumors that the dragon is already dead."

Kera had heard these rumors, too, but had not expected them to be tested so readily. Still, it did buoy her heart a little to think Smaug might be dead before ever they arrived.

Fíli smiled at her and his blue eyes sparkled in his eagerness. He was actually happy about this journey. Of course, he would be. This was his chance to take back his birthright and the rightful home of his people.

"Can you imagine it, Kera? Dwarves reclaiming Erebor." His voice held a level of reverence she had rarely heard him use. He shook his head as though the image were too wonderful to contemplate. "To walk in the halls of our fathers, to celebrate and feast and live out our days in our kingdom once more." In that moment, he sounded just like his uncle Thorin.

She smiled weakly but could not share in his enthusiasm. He must have seen the sorrow in her eyes, for the merriment faded from his face. "It will be a long journey," he said more soberly. "I don't know when I'll return."

 _Or if you'll return._ She could not dwell on such thoughts and tried to push them from her mind. "It's more than a year to the Iron Hills and back," was all she said.

"I might not even return then. If Uncle's plan is successful, he will be King Under the Mountain. He will likely want me to remain in Erebor, since I would be..." His mouth twitched slightly to the side as he trailed off.

"Crown Prince," she finished.

Her heart seemed to sink even deeper in her chest. Although Fíli was already Crown Prince by rights, it was only of the Blue Mountains. A prince was nothing to flip your beard at in any case, but Crown Prince of Erebor would hold far more clout than Crown Prince of the Blue Mountains.

They could never be together.

She looked up into the stars and wondered how things had come to this state. Her hands gripped his tighter as her whole body seemed to flare with pain at the thought of losing him. Either the attempt to regain Erebor would succeed, taking Fíli far beyond her reach, or it would fail - and such a failure did not bear thinking of. "I should have known better than to fall in love with you."

"You still love me, then?" His tone was playful, but there was a serious undercurrent to it.

"Of course I do, Fíli." She turned to him and he caught her mouth with a kiss. After a long moment, she whispered, "But this changes everything."

"It doesn't. I don't care if I'm King Under the Mountain, King of the Blue Mountains, or no king at all, so long as you are by my side."

Fíli's obstinance was something she had admired and lamented by turns. Were it not for his determination that she should fall desperately in love with him, she never would have considered Dís's son as a potential match. Yet it also prevented him from seeing anything he didn't want to see, as it did now. Even in the Blue Mountains, chances were slim that a marriage between them would have been granted. They hoped desperately that Thorin would marry and have an heir of his own, thereby securing his line and making Fíli's role somewhat less prominent. Thorin, however, had never shown the slightest inclination to do such a thing and therefore all the hopes for the continuation of the line of Durin remained squarely on Fíli's shoulders.

Kera was nothing but an apprentice seamstress, a daughter of nobodies. There was nothing in her lineage to recommend her to the crown. She would never have been chosen as Fíli's bride by anyone but he, himself. Most days, she still wondered what had set his heart on her in the first place. Their understanding was subtly frowned upon by Thorin, who would rather Fíli marry a dwarf of noble birth from the Iron Hills, and by Dís, who thought him still too young to consider marriage. Before, Kera had been more or less content to enjoy what time they had together. Now, it seemed all the time they had together was this one night.

"I don't mind the wait, Fíli. I can bide my time long years for you." He smiled broadly at her admission. "But if you are successful in this venture, Thorin will never let us marry. It was already unlikely, and you know it, but now..."

He took her gently by the shoulders. "Thorin cannot tell me who I marry. He does not have so much sway over me as that." She gave him an incredulous look. If Thorin's wish were granted and he were King Under the Mountain, he could pretty much tell any dwarf anything he wanted and have it done.

"Do you doubt me?"

Despite her fear that his uncle would prevent them from marrying, she had no doubt of the intentions and wishes of Fíli's heart. "Never."

"Then know that you will be mine and I will be yours. I will have no other love but you." He held her face in his hands and spoke with confidence and strength as though he were preparing to go into battle for her. Perhaps Thorin would relent after all. If Fíli believed it, why could she not?

"And I will have no other love but you," she echoed. In this, at least, she had absolute faith. Fíli was the only dwarf for her - her heart was utterly lost to him. She would have him, or she would have no one. Long had she guessed that this resolution would lead her to a life of solitude, but she would never tell him so. He was too optimistic for such gloomy thoughts.

He smiled as he lightly caressed her cheek, his eyes roving all over her face. Fíli kissed her with a gentle urgency until all the last traces of her resolve danced away and she would have given herself to him willingly if he but asked. Although he lay them back among the pine needles on the ground, he was true to his word and kept himself in check. His kisses gradually, reluctantly, became more innocent until they were chaste presses of his closed lips against hers.

He hugged her tight and brushed a kiss against her forehead. "You will wait long years for me, eh?" She felt rather than saw his mouth turn into a smile against her skin.

"As many as it takes." She snuggled her face against the soft rabbit fur collar of his coat. "Don't take your time about it, though. No dilly-dallying from here to the Misty Mountains."

"Oh, I don't know, a side trip through Dunland could be nice this time of year."

Kera lightly smacked his chest. "You'll do no such thing."

Fíli's chest jumped beneath her cheek as he laughed. "I'll come back for you just as fast as I can. Faster."

Looking up into the night, the stars spread across the sky as a blanket over them. If all they had left was this night, then Kera would remember every smallest detail. The sharp scent of rock that lingered on his skin long after he had left the mines. The taste of his mouth, a mix of earthy smoke and bitter ale. The way his fingers played in the fringes of her hair.

More than this, she would remember how she felt no greater freedom than when they were together. She could leave the sewing rooms tired to the bone, but one look from him was like a spark that lit her back up again. He knew her better than anyone ever had, probably better than anyone ever would, and he still loved her.

She would always love him.

Lying securely at Fíli's side, their breath rising and falling together, she tried to have confidence that it would always be so. Perhaps a great army of dwarves would march with him to Erebor. Perhaps the dragon was already dead. Perhaps Thorin would relent and accept their union.

But if, one day, she had to watch Fíli marry a high born dwarf from the Iron Hills, at least Kera would always have the memory of this night when he loved only her and everything they needed was in each other's arms.


End file.
